hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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