Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
