Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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