Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
