Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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