I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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