Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
