Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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