I wish i was in the wii world.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize