Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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