Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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