I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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