I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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