dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
