I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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