he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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