So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
