eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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