I looked at my own cervix.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
