i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
