He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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