Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
