Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
