either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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