I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
