How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
