what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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