I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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