I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
