You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
