theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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