k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize