My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize