chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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