Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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