Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
we're so committed to being not committed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
