no, he came in my armpit
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
