If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
