The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize