I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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