I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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