in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
