is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
