I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
