I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
