I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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