come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
