I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
