My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
