why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
