I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
