If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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