Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize