Do you still have your period?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
