My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
