I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
