He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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