was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
