Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
