you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
