Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
