hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
