Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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