Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize