I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
