She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
