Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
